


Diamonds in the Rain

by morgellons



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftercare, Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Light Dom/sub, Porn with Feelings, Post-TLJ, Rey Needs A Hug, Romance, Smut, Soulmates, Touch-Starved, smut in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-06-25 19:41:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19752505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgellons/pseuds/morgellons
Summary: He always gazed at her with a profound intensity, but rarely was it one of contempt or anger— even then, when she had only bitter resentment to offer.





	1. Tidal Wave

Rey never tired of the water. In the early mornings, she would sit outside not far from the base, simply watching as the light drizzle fell from the sky. When dawn crept up between the mountain peaks and the forest mist began to dissipate, she would marvel once more in the incredible greens and blues that painted the planet’s landscape.

Between training and the daily functions of Resistance life in hiding, Rey was allowed just enough time to dedicate to mindfulness. Sometimes that meant taking a walk to the lake, where she would dip her fingers into the water. With just a flick of her fingers, she could create swirling patterns etched into its surface. The currents would slowly disperse when she released them, the resulting gentle waves rising to lap at her forearm.

The sun would often shine a comforting, mild warmth over the world on clear-skied days. It was far different from the unforgiving ire the sun of Jakku had wrought upon the desert during her fraction of a lifetime spent there. The trees, the lakes, even the sun on this planet were the antithesis to what Rey had known for so very long.

However, today Rey did not take pleasure in the tranquil climate, nor did she stir the lake or sit in peace to admire her surroundings. Dark clouds rolled into the sky that evening, shielding the lavender sky from view. They hung heavy with droplets that soon came crashing down over the entire valley, leaving not a single surface untouched.

Rey remembered the first time she had seen rain. It hardly felt as long ago as it was. She had been standing beneath the Millennium Falcon at the island on Ahch-To. Just ahead of her was the stark, rocky beach where ocean spray would fly across the shoreline as thunder rumbled on the horizon. Though grey and gloomy, Rey couldn’t help but smile when she felt the cold patter on her outstretched palm. Vast oceans were breathtaking enough, but water— something rare and treasured on Jakku— falling from the sky itself was a scene out of a fever dream.

Then Kylo Ren appeared amidst the showers, standing with her at the edge of the land. He came close enough that she thought they might even touch— something she soon learned to be possible. Kylo always gazed at her with a profound intensity, but rarely was it one of contempt or anger— even then, when she had only bitter resentment to offer. Anguish was all that she received in return, and he was gone no sooner than he arrived. She tried not to think of him now.

Instead of running off of the cliffs as it did on the island, the heavy rains flooded the lake and saturated the soil, forming streams and puddles all across the ground. Instead of reaching out to feel the droplets against her skin, she stood huddled at the treeline, rather futilely as wind blew the sheets of water to an angle. It soaked through most of her clothing, something Rey didn’t see as particularly devastating. She would simply change into a dry outfit when she returned to the base.

As a low rumble erupted from the clouds, Rey turned her attention inwards. So much had happened in a matter of weeks, and though months had now passed since, every moment was still lucid in her memory. She truly began to find herself— who she really was, not a scavenger or a lowly commoner, but something far greater. She found wonderful friends who would fight for her and an imperative role in the galaxy that she was destined to play. For once, the choices she made held agency, and would even change the course of history. To consider it a heavy burden would have been an understatement, and this new life was far from a joyride. Even with everything she had gained, Rey suffered crushing losses nonetheless. She tried so hard to dispel that hollow tug in her chest, but the feeling lingered no matter how far she turned away from it. She didn’t know what lay ahead for her in the future, but she knew the truth of the past.

A cold breeze crept between the trees, raising goosebumps on Rey’s damp, exposed skin. She shivered and rubbed her hands together in the hopes she’d retain some warmth. The effect was minimal, but Rey didn’t long for the dry, cozy confines of the Resistance base just yet. There was something in this brewing storm that touched her soul, reflecting her deepest feelings. While it drenched her in icy drops and bellowed deafening roars, she felt at one with the fearsome, raw emotion that surged through the sky. There was no other place in the galaxy where she could have felt more belonging in that moment.

A searing pit in chest grew heavier as it threatened to set her insides aflame. Rey only had the comfort of her own mind. She couldn’t tell the others of the things she felt. Despite being surrounded with people who appreciated her, Rey felt lonelier than ever before. She wouldn’t have imagined that was even possible before then. At least she no longer gripped fervently to the thought that she was never truly alone.

It was the singular truth she had held onto for so long— except it wasn’t truth at all. It was a pretty, comforting lie that kept her looking to the stars, waiting for years on end without tire. It gave her hope, but these hopes were ultimately false. They kept her shackled to the desert planet with no real aspirations of her own. She simply waited for people who would never come for her— people who she thought had always loved her. That was her singular reason to fight for her life in the relentless world, to get up out of her bed and keep counting the days. If she hadn’t landed herself into this confusing, frightening war, Rey feared she would have perhaps died waiting on Jakku.

Her eyes welled at the thought. As much as she wanted to blink the tears away as she did as a child, the emotions threatened to overtake her. She squeezed her eyes shut when they began to sting, fighting the tidal wave of sorrow that urged her to cry. There was no solace left for her to look to. Her only choice was to accept the ugly reality she had denied all her life.

A blinding flash of lightning tore through the clouds above, followed by an angry crack of thunder. Rey flinched at sight, her eyes having been adjusted to the dim light of dusk. As her fervent feelings turned to those of melancholy, she began to disconnect from her surroundings. No longer did she feel a connection with the storm, rather she was dwarfed by its power and presence which seemed to yield to nothing, unlike her. The chilled breeze nipped at her extremities almost painfully, prompting Rey to tightly hug her arms around her torso, shielding her somewhat from the weather, but doing little to ease the importunate aching inside of her.

A familiar hum encompassed the forest, and then there was silence. Dread washed over Rey as a dark figure manifested itself in the corner of her eye. Her breath hitched in her throat, immediately recognizing what this was. She turned her back to the man she once trusted her life with, out of equal parts shame and resentment. He was the last person she wanted to see that night. Even more so, he was the last person she wanted to see her like this.

“Rey,” the voice behind her called. He spoke in that slow, gentle tone he seemed to reserve only for her.

Rey remained silent, reluctant to acknowledge him. Only when she heard his footfalls draw nearer did she answer.

“Leave me alone,” she muttered, trying her best to prevent the quaver in her voice from shining through.

He slowed to a halt as per her request, yet Kylo couldn’t simply ignore her, no matter how much she may have hated him. He was able to understand that, especially after what he did. As much as he wanted to reach out as he once did, sharing with her the consolation she so desperately yearned for— he didn’t.

“You’re wet… and cold.”

“Yeah,” she said curtly, still displeased with the fact that he hadn’t disappeared entirely. It wasn’t as if either of them could control the bond once it had begun a connection, but this time especially she wished she could.

From the dryness of his quarters, Kylo watched droplets roll down Rey’s figure from across the room. Though he still couldn’t see anything that she did— other than himself— it was sometimes possible to make inferences.

“You’ll get sick if you stand in the rain any longer.”

“Why do you care?” Rey scoffed, choosing to disregard his obvious concern for her.

“I…” he began, but quickly found himself at a loss for an answer that would satisfy her. “I don’t understand it— why you presumed it was a good idea to come out during a storm.”

He immediately regretted his phrasing; however, there was no use in trying to correct himself as Rey turned towards him slightly to steal a quick glance, but only for a moment.

“There’s nowhere else for me.”

“The Resistance?” He inquired, his intent nowhere near a suggestion. Surely they couldn’t have cast her away. His fists clenched in indignation at the thought of it.

“They’re here,” Rey sighed and shook her head. “It’s just… it’s silly.”

Kylo took a hesitant step forward, and to his relief, he was met with no objection this time. “It isn’t.”

She was quiet for a moment. “I’m alone.”

The words cut like daggers. Of course she wasn’t.

“No, that’s not true,” he began softly, coming to stand beside her. She didn’t flinch or move away from him, but he dared not to look her in the eye just yet. “I’m right here with you.”

She shook her head. “You’re not really here,” Rey whispered.

She was right, and Kylo wasn’t about to argue with her. While he had to keep his distance for the sake of her safety, it didn’t make it any less painful. Even if they could meet in person, he doubted she would want him now. When he mustered the courage to turn and look at Rey, the sight of her tear-streaked face caused his heart to sink, followed by an unbridled urge to take her into his arms and wipe the sorrow away.

Her eyes followed cautiously as Kylo brought a hand to her arm, his touch lighter than a feather in fear that he’d be unwelcome. She drew in a quick, shallow breath as his thumb grazed over the scar that cut across her shoulder— a reminder of their last meeting. Her gaze met his, one that was wide with reverence and uncertainty.

Rey averted her eyes before squeezing them shut, a tear rolling down her cheek. Her lips parted as she felt a palm gently cup her face.

“Come here,” he said, moving closer, and she snaked her arms weakly around his waist. He felt a fluttering tightness in his stomach as Rey pressed her cheek against his chest and curled her fingers into the fabric of his tunic. Kylo’s hands rested on the small of her back, moving up slowly and back down again in reassuring strokes. She sniffled and tightened her grip on him, taking comfort in the warmth he provided.

“Ben…”

She pulled away to look at him, but her fingers fell through empty air. The connection was severed and the sounds of the forest returned. Rey slowly pulled her arms around herself once more as another bellowing crackle resounded between the trees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally decided on posting some Reylo. I’m not sure why I’ve been nervous to publish any of it that I’ve already written, but I’ll finally be adapting all those scattered oneshots into a whole fic. Enjoy. :)


	2. Hold Back the Flood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even when she stood before him now, no compassion left to spare, he was filled with relief with only the sight of her. It had to mean something.

It was morning and the sun had barely risen above the land. The softest glow of twilight peeked into Rey’s quarters, shedding a modest level of visibility throughout the vicinity. It was a humble, makeshift room, mostly devoid of furniture aside from a small cot, a table where she left her few possessions, and a couch whose worn-down upholstery offered minimal comfort. Nevertheless, it managed to be more luxurious than the dwellings Rey had adopted in the past. 

She was usually up before the others, fixing herself a light breakfast out of whatever was available. She would eat quickly, putting no food to waste. The rations supply was tight, and thus there was no room for personal indulgence. It was nothing Rey wasn’t used to. 

She was in her room, folding her now-dry clothing, when she felt a tremor— faint and barely noticeable, but present nonetheless. It ebbed and prodded, but she paid no heed. Rey had learned to fortify a mental wall, just the same as she had an emotional one. Several times had she felt the rickety pull since the Battle of Crait, and each time she resisted— all except for one instance. She hardly even saw it coming before it was too late. She had no chance to barricade herself from the connection, nor was she allowed any preparation for the ambush. He found her at a time most vulnerable, and she lacked the will to retain her defenses for a single moment longer. So, she relinquished her vigilance and allowed him to approach just this once. It was an occasion of culpable indulgence she would not entertain again. 

Despite Rey’s efforts, the tremors grew stronger as the Force swirling about her conscious and through her senses stretched thin. She strained to rein it in, to maintain its form, but it only fragmented further under her touch. Only when she wrenched it with an unyielding resolve did it melt into a shapeless mass before dispersing in its entirety. Her persistence soon twisted into exasperation, which surged in her chest like a forest fire when the rustling whir of the bond met her ears. 

Kylo found her in his quarters. As soon as they laid eyes on each other, Rey was already wearing a forbidding glower over her face. Though this time, he was startled by her seemingly unprovoked anger. In their previous encounter, Rey did not chastise him for his outburst on Crait, nor did she remain detached for long— reactions that he would have expected. Instead, she divulged her feelings to him when he refused to be callously shrugged off. Rey let him stand with her and even touch her, and in her rare moment of vulnerability, he was able to hold her close for the first time. It was something he had wanted to do for so long. She felt so small, yet she was far from frail or breakable. There was so much strength and resilience concentrated into the young woman, but she simply couldn’t keep it up all the time. Sometimes, Rey just needed to let go. 

She was not destined for isolation in her anguish, however, and neither was Kylo. They were mirrors of one another’s light and darkness, each a bird on opposite ends of an intangible thread which stretched over time and space. He hopelessly longed for the same affirmation she had for as long as she could remember. Rey dared to look for the good in him that still prevailed, and when she pulled away from him, she called him by his name— the one his parents gave him.

His faith came rushing back, though he knew he shouldn’t have felt such a way. As she left, he couldn’t help but endure the immediate emptiness that followed. Even still, an auspicious spark prevailed.

That moment was over now. 

Rey stood her ground. At her sides, her fingers were curled into small fists. It reminded Kylo of himself, and he almost would have been amused if she hadn’t been staring him down with such loathing in her eyes. 

His mind tumbled through an endless cycle of emotion: fear, frustration, desire, pain— but above all, confusion. There was one question that dominated his mind over all the racing thoughts that tormented him without mercy. 

“You blocked me out for so long.”

Rey’s eyes narrowed. His voice hid the most subtle of quavers, and he worked his jaw, apprehensive as he contemplated his next move. 

“I would check… every day,” he continued, taking a tiny step toward her. There was still a large gap between them, and Rey held her ground. The truth was, he was beginning to lose hope after months of silence. Even when she stood before him now, no compassion left to spare, he was filled with relief with only the sight of her. It had to mean something. 

He paused, silently pleading as he searched her face for a hint of an answer. “So, why now?”

“I got distracted,” she said coldly. It was the perfect storm, so to speak, for him to finally break through after the door had closed so long ago. 

“Sometimes… I would just talk— as if you  _ were _ listening,” he said, reminiscing the nights he’d spend alone, pretending she still had hope in him— that she had never left. 

“But I wasn’t.”

“No, you weren’t,” he mused aloud, now looking off to the side. He couldn’t bear to see how she looked at him any longer. “But that didn’t matter. Just the thought of it… Made things easier.”

Even after she drove Kylo to his knees, cutting his face in two, and scarring him forever, he would never leave her alone. He listened to her when she needed someone, and only wished she could do the same for him. 

Conflict bubbled in Rey’s chest as he tore down his walls in a mournful display. Anger and frustration that had been building up clashed with guilt and sorrow and longing. She just wanted to slap him, show him exactly how torn and indecisive he had made her. She fought herself in a flood of fervor, animosity, passion, and despair, and it rose higher and higher. She allowed it to, holding it in with the strongest walls she could fathom. Then, she let it drain away, leaving her to respite once more. Rey took in a deep breath. 

“Maybe… I should have been there to listen.”

His breath hitched, lacking the nerve to face her. Kylo whispered, staring down at his feet. “I thought you hated me.”

“If I did, I would have killed you when I had the chance,” she insisted, coming closer. 

He pondered this for a moment, their unsteady breaths being the only sound amidst the silence. 

“Why did you leave me?”

“What was I supposed to do?” Rey huffed, gritting her teeth. Time had soothed the pain, but the incident was far from forgotten. “I was not about to lie down and surrender. Not after what you did.”

“I was giving you everything,” he seethed. “I would have given you anything you could have ever wanted— things you can’t even begin to imagine! The  _ entire galaxy _ !”

“I never  _ wanted _ the galaxy, Ben!” Rey shouted. Her eyes burned with hurt and frustration. She took a shuddering breath and paused, bringing her voice just above a whisper. “I only wanted you.”

His mouth, which was parted in truculent anticipation, shut promptly as his next thought left him entirely. Something about her use of past tense stung, much like saltwater in an open wound. 

He lurched away when Rey came within inches of him. Her hand crept up under his chin, pulling his focus to her. Yet, Ben kept his gaze fixed on the ground. He knew if he looked her into her beautiful, devastating eyes even for a moment, it would be his downfall. 

“Look at me, please,” She hushed. 

He could feel her soft breath against his skin as she spoke, and he trembled beneath her touch as she brushed her thumb across his cheek. “Don’t leave me again.”

He couldn’t take the loss again. Every day since Crait was agony. 

“But I have to,” she lamented as she took Ben’s hands in hers, lacing their fingers and holding him tight. “We both know that.”

As she looked back up at him again, her eyes were met with brown ones that hid behind tousled dark locks, glossy with tears that threatened to spill. 

As they stood together in the low light of the early morning, Rey closed her eyes. When she opened them, he was gone once more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :,)


End file.
